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I need to start doing this with marketing crap. Except just rocks. Heavy, heavy rocks.
“small boulder” just say rock vro 🥀🥀🥀
When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.
I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls… They called me back lol
Well… Did they suck your balls?
Unfortunately no
I’m curious what they have to say to that!
When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.
I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.
So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.
It was quite cathartic.
I fart in the envelopes then they are like ‘yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!’
I know/hope this is a joke but people used to do this at an independent, third party, mail sorting place I worked at as a teenager.
They’d mail all sorts of shit (both literal and figurative) and it was basically handled by one guy who seemed ok with it but was definitely not ok.
Mail them lead, weights, whatever. But please, no matter how despicable the company, there’s likely some at very least mildly abused worker who is just trying to earn a wage and has to deal with the vile shit people try to punish companies with.
Wouldn’t a lead weight cost you more than it costs them? Lead is reasonably expensive.
Ok, rocks or whatever junk you have laying around.
This. Your mail isn’t going to be opened by the CEO. Hurt the business, not the worker. Mail them a box of rocks or something, the company will pay postage on it and the minimum wage guy opening packages will laugh.
Basically the same thing they do when they send these things in unmarked envelopes.
I read this as you wrote it: “its farts”, like the envelope has farts, vs “it is farts”. Both are technically correct, but seems so much funnier that way.
Aaaah pink eye!
Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I’ve been needing to get rid of.
That’s actually a large boulder; it’s just the size of a small boulder.
I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
We won’t ever know unless they included a fresh banana for size.
Got any Carlos?
IF you’re going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn’t sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm
Like 70lbs of neutronium in a USPS flat rate box?
Hmm… Where can I get a bunch of tungsten? 🤔
Amazon. Their rings are pretty cheap.
Considering the density of neutronium, a 70 lb piece would be about the size of a dust mote, if not much smaller. Good luck getting a standard box to hold something that small and dense.
The joke here is that neutronium might be the only substance dense enough to actually weigh 70lbs and still be able to fit into a flat rate box, which has set dimensions and a limit of 70lbs.
I just put another company’s junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.
Let’s all do our part to help little boulders travel
Glaciers take millions of years to deposit boulders across the land.
Humans: “we can do better.”
If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s moving rocks around
Are they an invasive species?
They can’t reproduce, should be fine.
Their reproduction cycle is weird but they multiply. Oddly enough all it takes is a couple of sold hits with a hammer and you’ll have a bunch of boulers instead of just one. They’ll be smaller but there will be more of them.
We can do that?
Do I just take it to the post office?
No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won’t deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.
Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.
I’ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.
You’d just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.
If you work for the empire, you gonna see some shit
Even better, print some anti-empire propaganda.
Give the low-level employee some ideas to quit giving their life to the empire.
That is a Fight Club level idea. Radicalize the data entry workers.
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Pro-union literature
People don’t take those jobs as a choice.
USPS is using slave labor?!
Credit card companies are. USPS doesn’t have data entry people who would open the package.
It wouldn’t surprise me if one slipped through, there are overrides on stuff that get rejected and USPS is a massive organization with millions of parcels moving at any given moment.
This idea came from people mailing wooden shims back to the credit card companies because it would increase the postage cost over the normal weight… Please don’t do that though. Letters go through a Dr. Seuss Esque sorter system and the shims are too sturdy and sometimes get ripped out of the mail and shot across the facility…
This … feels like you are telling me to go for it.
Feel free to stuff as much paper as you can fit, it’s just wood, plastics and the like that are too rigid for the machines to handle sometimes. USPS gets money for return mailing, so it’s a benfit to them as long as shims or pieces of plastic arent flying around the facility like a bullet.
This is how we save the USPS.
I could be wrong but I think these are prepaid, not paid on delivery…
These are indeed paid on delivery.
Friendly reminder.
Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.
Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.
Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.
Doesn’t help when you use a return postage slip. They have unique codes. Being “just annoying” is probably the safest bet.
If you’re concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn’t look “mass produced” to the recipient.
Is there a legal limit on the amount of farts I can put into an envelope?
Edit: I guess this really depends on the consistency of each fart, and the legal threshold of acceptable feces contamination (which can’t be zero). Anyways, does anyone know if they make airtight envelopes?
I sell abdominal gas collection catheters btw
This wouldn’t work, anyway. They only prepay envelope postage, not a box.
You can fit a lot of glitter in a envelope.
Calm down there, Satan.
You’d just be annoying some data entry employee.
Wasting their time is wasting their money.
Plus it helps the post office!
A lot of reply paid stuff for large corporations is calculated on weight not on item count, depending on the sorting system used by the country/region in question so this might work sometimes but it depends on a lot of variables.
All spam should be responded to in kind.
WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
I have long fantasized about doing this exact same thing, especially to MAGA-types who somehow got my address and are mailing me requests for donations. Someone in those groups as well as THE SALVATION ARMY have discovered that those postage guaranteed reply envelopes cost money and prompt this response. So now all that stuff requires a stamp if you want to reply. I hope that’s cut down on their fundraising efforts.
What is wrong with the salvation army? Sometimes go in there looking for board games when we check if any of the charity shops have any games beyond 50 versions of monopoly and trivia pursuit.
- In 1998, the Salvation Army refused to comply with San Francisco’s laws regarding domestic-partner benefits, costing it $3.5 million in city contracts and leading to the closure of certain programs for homeless people and the elderly.
- In 2001, the organization tried to strike a deal with the Bush administration, which would have allowed religious charities that receive federal funding to circumvent local ordinances against anti-LGBTQ discrimination. (The organization also threatened to stop all of its New York City operations in 2004.)
- In 2012, a Salvation Army branch in Vermont was accused of firing a case worker after learning she was bisexual.
- Also in 2012, Salvation Army spokesperson George Hood said the organization views same-sex relationships as sinful. “A relationship between same-sex individuals is a personal choice that people have the right to make,” Hood said at the time. “But from a church viewpoint, we see that going against the will of God.”
https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations
They are anti-LGBT. I don’t have a source handy for you at the moment so encourage you to search it up.
I’ve bought quite a few items of clothing of the “wrong gender” from them…
the christian holiness movement offshoot organized in actual army ranks under red banners emblazoned with their literal motto “blood and fire”? idk but i could pick out a few things that seem… off
Don’t forget the literal slavery at their rehab centers!
Are we even thinking of the same organisation? Never seen that, but maybe they keep it hidden round the back as it would put off customers. I live in the UK, not sure if that makes a difference
Salvation Army is more than just a thrift store. They use that to fund their other stuff.
They’re Christians and you know how bad Christians are, with all the volunteering and the charity and the do-gooders and all
Your history is full of bad takes. Maybe pay attention to those downvotes and think about it.
That’s the fun part, I don’t care. I’ve seen what you guys upvote, and it disgusts me.
You like apartheid South Africa. Your disgust is a badge of honor to a moral person.
No I don’t, wtf are talking about? Are you mixing me up with someone else? I’ve done the same thing if that’s the case
Oh you’re one of those people who like to see the world burn, gotcha
Let me guess, all the Christians except for the Palestinian ones, right?
There aren’t any Palestinian Christians left after what Hamas did. Do you not know the history of the area? It’s fucked up.
I suggest you go research it yourself, I’m just a random commenter on the Internet and there’s way more credible sources out there
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palestinian_Christians
You believe complete lies and make shit up about Gaza, and Palestinians, and know nothing about the region while thinking you’re an expert and justifying the ongoing genocide.
These are the people that the Pope has been calling every day while they’ve had a complete blockade of all food since Mar 2nd.
Well… he hasn’t called the past few days.
And you know this because…?
God hooked him up with a line, still, damnit. He’s not free til the new guy gets in
You’re right. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Palestine
Christians make up an entire 0.2% of Gaza after the genocides. Sunni Muslims only make up 99% of Gaza. They should finish the job, a final solution if you will.
I guess the fact that there are only 3000 of them in Gaza makes it okay to starve them or rape them to death in a genocidal campaign like the Israeli’s are doing?
Go justify torture camps and genocide somewhere else.
Don’t use a rock, use 10lb of glitter.
Nah. That would piss off the mailroom employees, but they don’t control who gets sent mail. The weight costing money does hurt the people who make the marketing decisions, though.
That’s a fair observation, but I assume they’re trained to deal with suspicious packages safely, and that stuff will get transfered throughout the whole building and make everyone’s lives that bit more ‘special’. It’ll still hit the bottom line too.
But they also work for the bad company, so my sympathy is limited. Not super limited, else I wouldn’t point out that they’re inevitably hourly employees, and a long day cleaning glitter creates an annoying backlog that creates even more overtime.
Punishing the worker for working for spammers, but also putting money in their pocket at the cost of the people making choices.Biggest issue is the cost of glitter. Easier to get dirt or rocks.
So credit card issuers are bad now?
There’s too much to keep track of these days.
“these days”? I take it you weren’t paying attention during the whole “explorative credit” thing? We had to make the consumer financial protection bureau to, amongst other things, make them be a little less shitty? The bureau they’ve been desperately trying to get dismantled because it moderately limits their profits?
Have they ever been better than “kinda bad” at best?
Anyway, I didn’t specifically decry credit issuers. I implied that spammers are shitty, which I stand by and is far from a new sentiment.
They’re mostly banks, right? Were they ever good?
nah doesnt just piss them off… it now confettis the mailroom which guarantees a janitors employment. this is how you generate low skill labor jobs! its a win win.
Would take a little bit of doing, but rig the box flaps to a platform inside the box, then pour all the glitter on that, so that opening the box raises the platform and dumps all the glitter.
Rather than a platform, I’ve been wondering if you could rig it so opening the box opens some holes on the bottom, so they think they dodged the worst of it, pick it up to dispose of it and get a desk full from underneath.
Rock, and 5000 live cockroaches
Steady on Satan, they’re only a credit card company! They’re bad, but not that bad!
