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You just have to get fat enough that they can see how fat you are, on the news.
Landscape mode?
On an ultra-wide screen monitor.
I’m a disabled veteran and still get calls from recruiters. They are basically salesmen doing cold calls
I feel bad for recruiters. Someone has to do it but they get shit from everyone.
They’d get less shit from everyone if they weren’t predatory liars about it.
They’re being paid to get shit. It would be a disservice to them if you didn’t provide the shit.
Yeah I spent a decent chunk of my 20s attempting to explain to them that I’m deaf
I can totally imagine them just yelling louder and louder at you
Ok I would be down to just turn my hearing aids lower and lower in response lol. The funny thing to me is I’m not much deafer then they make people. I just come pre deafened and they can’t have that. It’s like if the marines wouldn’t take anyone who bought a car they can’t afford and cheats on their girlfriend, like fair enough but I’ve met y’all it’s strange to insist you be the ones to get people to this state.
These light-novel titles get weirder every year.
Robinson Crusoe is considered the first English language novel.
Its title when it was first published was:
The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver’d by Pyrates. Written by Himself.
So, you see, we are simply returning to traditional forms.
Oh, like how isekai was invented by Mark Twain.
Yeah, there’s a legal requirement for Korean citizens to serve in the military. My SO is Korean, and that’s why my kids aren’t Korean citizens…
Good luck! Eat some more fast food.
https://www.ft.com/content/442de9aa-e7a0-11e8-8a85-04b8afea6ea3
Robot-soldiers, stealth jets and drone armies: the future of war
Yeah the AI companies are chomping at the bit to let their killer robots loose on us. Wish I were exaggerating but I’m not.
Why. The fuck. Would anyone, Millennial or younger join the military these days? To fight for oil overseas, while the world is burning? To be the arm of our corrupt politicians? To defend all the houses we will never afford? To protect a populace that yearns for fascism?
It’s too credible so I’ll whisper it (poverty)
Tax free liquor and tobacco? 3 meals a day? It was a good enough reason for granpappy to leave the still down in the holler.
The nearly free housing, healthcare, and potential for a pension are all decent incentives. Basically everything people want for normal us citizens are provided to the military.
Barring, of course, active duty members who have to deal with deployment and location assignments.
There’s also the chance to kill people, so there’s that.
Sign me up.
You know most enlisted aren’t in combat roles right? My brother did ten years behind a desk, ended up with an awesome career and got to travel the world for free.
Huh? I didn’t mention a single thing about combat roles or personal danger. If you join the military, you’re supporting their agenda…
Hard to find a way to make a living without supporting an unethical agenda, unfortunately.
Yup. The company I work for is a bit less unethical than many others. Nobody’s perfect though, and we have a yearly remembrance for people we’ve killed over the years.
I didn’t mention a single thing about combat roles or personal danger
To fight
To be the arm
To defend
To protect
Do you not know what any of those terms mean
You’re fun, but this is NCD, it’s all military defense jokey jokes. The only civilian defense we take seriously is Mr. Park and the Roof Koreans. You’re not really here, with these filthy rave babies, to persuade them not to join the military? It’s far too late for many commenters here, they already have bad knees and a discharge in their rearview mirrors. Try to get some perspective on your audience before you start your Ted Talk.
If you work for just about any corporation in the US, you are supporting an equally repugnant agenda.
Welcome to Capitalism.
Name five companies you can work for that don’t have an unethical agenda.
The prospects of room, board, health insurance, and a pension are more than enough to entice someone with no better options.
They take it just to sell it back to you.
lmao, who believes you’ll get any of that and not the post nam treatment
I’ve met so many disabled vets suffering and the va/benefits keep getting worse
Free college. Depending on where you live; better parking(purple heart), no property tax, unlimited handshakes, and the ability to stare into the middle distance and white-knuckle any moment you are left with your thoughts.
Better parking you say? 🤔
If you live in Europe: to protect your freedom. (may apply to other regions as well)
Sorry, I meant in the US. (Freedom offer no longer applicable, must be 18 years or older)
Based!
Woah woah who tf downvoted this? You’re in NCD. This is in fact based.
Good news, in the US, you don’t have to join the military to get a gun.
😎 Yeeaahhhh
WW3 is gonna be a 5v5 on de_dust2
Nah, on de_Vertigo.
de_rats
It’s Denmark’s war to lose then
The Astralis esports team basically turns into Delta Force in this scenario.
TF2 and they all pootis, POW!! Each other till everyone’s dead
Heeeeey. There might be a role for me after all.
I want it in Source at 800x600 on my end. CRT please.
I know we just met but I feel very confident leaving the fate of the free world in your hands. Just cool it with the warcrimes okay, all that teabagging is going land you in the Hague.
I’d be willing to watch that live and in client.
We did it! Capitalism saved the planet from WWIII!
Now we just tidy up a bit…
Sitting up? Check out these gym rats…
She put the burger on the gd floor like damn bich you know we got plates right?
Burger’s big enough there might actually be a plate under there somewhere.
Honestly, it’s a message of hope. In a true dystopia she’d have a bag of sliders they charge regular prices for, but instead she’s got a mega-burger.
Glad to see freedom still rings during WW3.
They come wrapped in the plate ffs.
It’s bothering me thinking of how you would eat that. Maybe you cut it like a wedding cake and serve slices.
Just on the floor and as big as an air fryer, this is straight out of cloudy with a chance of meatballs
What on earth is going on with that helicopter?
Hot new AI design. Dangle a person and have three rotors.
It made the mistake of being AI generated.
Mad lad hanging from the rotor blades
They’re filming numa numa yay 2
Selfish bastard didn’t get milady any milk
How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?
It makes you go blind.
And your hands get all hairy
It makes your hand pregnant
Perrganent? Preganté?
Gregnant
Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!
Can I do it till I need glasses? lol
They’ll just give you government issue glasses
Yup, gotta keep at it until you can’t see the screen anymore. AFAIK, the military doesn’t do braille.
This is just a poor translation. It’s a colloquialism to say you’re jacking off when you’re lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it’s the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What’s really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it’s from a translation and you know that, your brain didn’t think about the colloquialisms. It’s kind of crazy how our brains work.
I’m aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.
Decadence isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe masturbation.
Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.
+100 social credit
Are you a CPC official?
I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?
Leave a man idle enough time and he’ll end up masturbating that’s where the relationship goes to the colloquialism for everyone. I cna tell you in Spanish we use the same colloquialism.
That’s boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes
When the mortar tube is clogged with cum…
And that’s how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.
They are too exhausted from masturbating to pass the fitness test.
Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.
After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.
Hold on, I’m almost there.
When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.
Something something male essence
I don’t avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence
Wars are won and lost on a nations ability to not get physics yeeted into the air
Good. None of your wars is worth dying in
Fuck capitalism.
Rules 5 and 6
I don’t care about how much you dislike capitalism, that doesn’t belong in here. Also this is NCD, we love war.
sweats in Cloud9
For some reason I remembered Notch. He tried to settle all disputes in Quake. And it even worked.
“The enemy cannot push a button, if you disable his hand!”
- Sergeant Zim
Just put them on a 2000 calory deficit diet during basic training, and double its duration.
That’ll get rid of 80 pounds of excess fat, plus they won’t have the strength to masturbate.Sure, half of them will become casualties before they see action, but they can still pilot drones, do the funny or make coffee, while you can feed the other half into the front line grinder.
2 kcal is not very much.
not 2 kcal per day, a 2 kcal deficit per day.
That’s only about half a gram of carbs. Were you talking about food calories, which would be 2000 kcal?
Are you autistic, or is it OK to make fun of you?
I’m not sure what you mean by that. If you’re confused about the calories, 1 kcal (which is what people usually refer to when talking about food calories) is 1000 calories. A normal diet is a couple thousand kcal a day.
common misinterpretation… Calories is kcal
(with a capital C)I’m convinced that’s some bs some bigwig invented to avoid admitting they’re wrong.
Deficit diet means burn 2000 calories off a person per day, oui?
Do the funny?
Do the funny.
but they can still pilot drones,
But sir, do we even have drones to be piloted?
Based on all the Arma footage already in the news I thought this was always the plan…
You know that movie with Bruce Willis named Surrogates? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrogates The Scene where they visit the Military.
This is how WW3 will happen, i figure. Warfare from the comfort of your home, ready to jump into o a new robot Body once downed. War being nothing more than a Battle of attrition and technical Ressources.
Hmmm, piloting a robot body against other robot bodies in war actually sounds kinda cool. Live-fire paintball without the risk of actual injury
The robots probably wouldn’t stop with the other robots. For example, if Israel had remote piloted robot warriors do you think they would only attack and kill other robots? They would just send them into Palestine, slaughter the “hostiles” and wouldn’t bat an eye.
As Randall Munroe observes, the first billionaire to create an AI-controlled swarm of killer robots will try to take over the world. So it may be Robot Wars on a grand scale.
Wait I have to stop touching myself in order to successed in the fitness test?
Absolutely not, just only do it while at the gym.
How does that guy do pullups without using his hands?
