Based on all the Arma footage already in the news I thought this was always the plan…
Good. None of your wars is worth dying in
Fuck capitalism.
Rules 5 and 6
I don’t care about how much you dislike capitalism, that doesn’t belong in here. Also this is NCD, we love war.
How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?
When the mortar tube is clogged with cum…
And that’s how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.
This is just a poor translation. It’s a colloquialism to say you’re jacking off when you’re lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it’s the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What’s really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it’s from a translation and you know that, your brain didn’t think about the colloquialisms. It’s kind of crazy how our brains work.
Leave a man idle enough time and he’ll end up masturbating that’s where the relationship goes to the colloquialism for everyone. I cna tell you in Spanish we use the same colloquialism.
That’s boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes
I’m aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.
Decadence isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe masturbation.
Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.
+100 social credit
Are you a CPC official?
I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?
Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.
After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.
Hold on, I’m almost there.
Something something male essence
I don’t avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence
They are too exhausted from masturbating to pass the fitness test.
It makes you go blind.
And your hands get all hairy
Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!
Can I do it till I need glasses? lol
They’ll just give you government issue glasses
Yup, gotta keep at it until you can’t see the screen anymore. AFAIK, the military doesn’t do braille.
It makes your hand pregnant
Perrganent? Preganté?
Gregnant
When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.
https://www.ft.com/content/442de9aa-e7a0-11e8-8a85-04b8afea6ea3
Robot-soldiers, stealth jets and drone armies: the future of war
Yeah the AI companies are chomping at the bit to let their killer robots loose on us. Wish I were exaggerating but I’m not.
Why. The fuck. Would anyone, Millennial or younger join the military these days? To fight for oil overseas, while the world is burning? To be the arm of our corrupt politicians? To defend all the houses we will never afford? To protect a populace that yearns for fascism?
If you live in Europe: to protect your freedom. (may apply to other regions as well)
Good news, in the US, you don’t have to join the military to get a gun.
😎 Yeeaahhhh
Sorry, I meant in the US. (Freedom offer no longer applicable, must be 18 years or older)
Based!
Woah woah who tf downvoted this? You’re in NCD. This is in fact based.
Free college. Depending on where you live; better parking(purple heart), no property tax, unlimited handshakes, and the ability to stare into the middle distance and white-knuckle any moment you are left with your thoughts.
Better parking you say? 🤔
Tax free liquor and tobacco? 3 meals a day? It was a good enough reason for granpappy to leave the still down in the holler.
You know most enlisted aren’t in combat roles right? My brother did ten years behind a desk, ended up with an awesome career and got to travel the world for free.
Huh? I didn’t mention a single thing about combat roles or personal danger. If you join the military, you’re supporting their agenda…
Hard to find a way to make a living without supporting an unethical agenda, unfortunately.
Yup. The company I work for is a bit less unethical than many others. Nobody’s perfect though, and we have a yearly remembrance for people we’ve killed over the years.
I didn’t mention a single thing about combat roles or personal danger
To fight
To be the arm
To defend
To protect
Do you not know what any of those terms mean
Name five companies you can work for that don’t have an unethical agenda.
If you work for just about any corporation in the US, you are supporting an equally repugnant agenda.
Welcome to Capitalism.
You’re fun, but this is NCD, it’s all military defense jokey jokes. The only civilian defense we take seriously is Mr. Park and the Roof Koreans. You’re not really here, with these filthy rave babies, to persuade them not to join the military? It’s far too late for many commenters here, they already have bad knees and a discharge in their rearview mirrors. Try to get some perspective on your audience before you start your Ted Talk.
It’s too credible so I’ll whisper it (poverty)
The prospects of room, board, health insurance, and a pension are more than enough to entice someone with no better options.
They take it just to sell it back to you.
lmao, who believes you’ll get any of that and not the post nam treatment
I’ve met so many disabled vets suffering and the va/benefits keep getting worse
The nearly free housing, healthcare, and potential for a pension are all decent incentives. Basically everything people want for normal us citizens are provided to the military.
Barring, of course, active duty members who have to deal with deployment and location assignments.
There’s also the chance to kill people, so there’s that.
Sign me up.
WW3 is gonna be a 5v5 on de_dust2
It’s Denmark’s war to lose then
The Astralis esports team basically turns into Delta Force in this scenario.
Heeeeey. There might be a role for me after all.
I want it in Source at 800x600 on my end. CRT please.
I know we just met but I feel very confident leaving the fate of the free world in your hands. Just cool it with the warcrimes okay, all that teabagging is going land you in the Hague.
I’d be willing to watch that live and in client.
TF2 and they all pootis, POW!! Each other till everyone’s dead
Nah, on de_Vertigo.
de_rats
We did it! Capitalism saved the planet from WWIII!
Now we just tidy up a bit…
Selfish bastard didn’t get milady any milk
Sitting up? Check out these gym rats…
What on earth is going on with that helicopter?
Mad lad hanging from the rotor blades
They’re filming numa numa yay 2
It made the mistake of being AI generated.
Hot new AI design. Dangle a person and have three rotors.
She put the burger on the gd floor like damn bich you know we got plates right?
Burger’s big enough there might actually be a plate under there somewhere.
Honestly, it’s a message of hope. In a true dystopia she’d have a bag of sliders they charge regular prices for, but instead she’s got a mega-burger.
Glad to see freedom still rings during WW3.
Just on the floor and as big as an air fryer, this is straight out of cloudy with a chance of meatballs
They come wrapped in the plate ffs.
It’s bothering me thinking of how you would eat that. Maybe you cut it like a wedding cake and serve slices.
TIL wanking habits fit into recruitment parameters.
Wars are won and lost on a nations ability to not get physics yeeted into the air
If you die in the game, you die in real life
I swear there’s twenty manwha with the same concept
The body cannot live without the mind
There was a star trek episode like that.
Simpsons did it!
I did my part by being born with a sensory disability. Mind you I’m also too mentally ill to enlist…
I WILL get myself addicted if a draft gets instated. My family has a predisposition towards addiction, and my life would be ruined either way.
I don’t know the statistics but survival chances for addicts might be actually better than for soldiers in active combat
deleted by creator
You just have to get fat enough that they can see how fat you are, on the news.
Landscape mode?
On an ultra-wide screen monitor.
Yeah, there’s a legal requirement for Korean citizens to serve in the military. My SO is Korean, and that’s why my kids aren’t Korean citizens…
Good luck! Eat some more fast food.
These light-novel titles get weirder every year.
Robinson Crusoe is considered the first English language novel.
Its title when it was first published was:
The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver’d by Pyrates. Written by Himself.
So, you see, we are simply returning to traditional forms.
Oh, like how isekai was invented by Mark Twain.
I’m a disabled veteran and still get calls from recruiters. They are basically salesmen doing cold calls
Yeah I spent a decent chunk of my 20s attempting to explain to them that I’m deaf
I can totally imagine them just yelling louder and louder at you
Ok I would be down to just turn my hearing aids lower and lower in response lol. The funny thing to me is I’m not much deafer then they make people. I just come pre deafened and they can’t have that. It’s like if the marines wouldn’t take anyone who bought a car they can’t afford and cheats on their girlfriend, like fair enough but I’ve met y’all it’s strange to insist you be the ones to get people to this state.
I feel bad for recruiters. Someone has to do it but they get shit from everyone.
They’re being paid to get shit. It would be a disservice to them if you didn’t provide the shit.
They’d get less shit from everyone if they weren’t predatory liars about it.
not gonna lie it would be awesome if wars were actually conducted by gaming
The rampant cheating would make for some… Interesting streams.
Imagine the Chinese taking the Alamo with noclipping special forces wiping out 20,000 men as they sit in a digital forest around a thousand bright but cold campfires talking about Christian values, the merits of racism, and which anime girl is best.
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/74098/74098-h/74098-h.htm
War No. 81-Q by Cordwainer Smith. Written in 1928.
Thanks. I thought I’d read everything Cordwainer Smith had written, but had never seen that before.
I think the name of the paperback was ‘The Best Of Cordwainer Smith.’ I read it years ago.
Fun bit of trivia. Harlan Ellison used the pen name ‘Cordwainer Bird’ on projects he’d written but had been badly produced. ‘Bird’ appeared as a character in at least one short story.
That might have had a rewritten version in it because it was vaguely familiar and I’m pretty sure I have that collection.
I can’t believe that they haven’t made an anime out of the original catgirl, C’Mell.
Man, I wish he had gotten more work done on the Instrumentality. The first novel I read was Norstrilia, maybe when I was like 13 or 14, and that absolutely got me hooked on the universe he built.
Now I have to go back and read everything again if I can dig those out of the boxes. I was really getting down on the pointlessness maundering of modern SF stories and had pretty much shut down reading it. Now I’m excited again.
John Varley is pretty underrated. “Titan” is an anime ready adventure story and “The Ophiucci Hotline” is good old fashioned hard SF. He’s the first writer I think of who compares with Smith.
You say this while there is currently a bitter war being fought with drones controlled with X-box controllers with VR goggles. The next wars will be conducted via gaming.
(I mean, besides all the civilians who might get between our murderbots.)
Someday war will be… in a cup!
Wait I have to stop touching myself in order to successed in the fitness test?
How does that guy do pullups without using his hands?
Absolutely not, just only do it while at the gym.
